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Ubik – An Alternate Ending

As some of you may already know from my previous posts, I am a huge fan of Philip K. Dick.  I had a recent project where I had to write an alternate ending to Dick’s novel Ubik. I’m not sure how many people who read this blog have read Ubik, but it is a fantastic novel that everyone who has even the smallest shred of interest in science fiction really should read.

I thoroughly enjoyed coming up with an alternate ending to this novel and I have decided to re-post it here.  A bit of a spoiler alert, if you haven’t already read Ubik and you plan to, then I would advise you not to read any further.  Enjoy…

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CHAPTER 18

When used properly, Ubik can help to

distinguish reality from fantasy. Keep out

of reach from children. Please follow

instructions precisely. Disobedience of

instructions can lead to distortions of

reality and severe hallucinations.

“I’m sorry Mr. Runciter,” the attendant said, “I can’t figure out what’s wrong.  I checked the circuitry three times, just to make sure everything was hooked up properly.  I can’t for the life of me figure it out, we can’t get a connection with Ella, it’s like she just vanished into thin air.  I’m terribly sorry Mr. Runciter, perhaps you could come back at a later date and we could try again.

Glen Runciter stormed out of the moratorium.  “What is happening?  Why in the world is Joe Chip’s face on my currency?  Is his face on everyone’s money, or is it just on mine?  What happened to Ella?  Why is there no longer a connection?”  Runciter, moved swiftly down the street, looking for the nearest business establishment, hoping that his fears would not come to fruition.  “There!” Runciter exclaimed.  Swinging the doors to the Happy-Go-Lucky Convenience store open, Runciter ran up to the counter and grabbed the clerk by the shirt collar.  “Give me a bill, I need to see something.”

“Hey, get off me before I call the police,” exclaimed the store clerk.  Runciter pleaded with the clerk to see a bill to confirm his suspicion.  “Sorry, I can’t open the register unless you make a purchase.”

“Here!” Runciter screamed as he threw a packet of gum onto the counter.  The clerk rang up the gum, took a dollar bill from Runciter.  Ding, the register rang open.

“Here’s your change, now get out of here, I don’t want any trouble.”  Runciter took the coins from the clerk, looked down at them, and opened his mouth in shock.

“Damn, just as I suspected,” Runciter said as he looked at the coins and saw Joe Chip’s face on all of his change.  “What does this mean?”  Runciter thought to himself.  “How can this be, I don’t understand.”  Runciter walked out of the Happy-Go-Lucky Convenience store, this time with his head held low as he slowly made his way down the street.

“I wonder what happened to Ella,” Joe Chip thought to himself.  “If only she could have been here to see Jory’s demise, I think she would have enjoyed that.”  Joe thought of the past, of Ella, that last time he saw her, what seemed like years ago.  “I wonder what comes after this half-life, is there some other sort of wondrous realm where we are fully spirits, rather than this dreary half dead, half live situation I’m in now.”

Joe thought about Jory, wondering if he was able to torment Ella and his former colleagues as he had in half-life.  “Jory is gone,” Joe thought to himself, “but at what cost.  Everyone that I’ve ever met here in this half-life is gone.  The battle has taken everyone away from me.”  Joe walked out of his office at the Takonami building, walked down the hall, got in the elevator, and headed for the ground floor.

Glen Runciter got into the cab, “take me to the offices of the Runciter Organization, at once,” Runciter shouted at the cab driver.  His mind raced in all different directions, he pondered to himself how it came to be that Joe Chip had his face plastered on all forms of currency.  “What am I missing?” Runciter thought to himself.

“Here we are sir,” the cab driver said, looking at Runciter in the rear view mirror.  “That will be four dollars and fifty cents.”

“Where are we?”  Runciter said, “I told you to take me to the Runciter Organization building.”

“This is the Runciter Organization building,” the cab driver said.  “Where it used to be at least, the Runciter Organization went out of business three months ago.  Glen Runciter’s jaw dropped, he looked out the window of the cab and saw a tall building that looked like it reached thirty stories high.  “Four fifty please,” the cab driver said, this time his voice becoming more stern.  “Please sir, I have to go, I have another fair to pick up.”  The cab driver reached behind his seat and opened up Rinciter’s door.  “I beg of you, I need to be going right away.”  Runciter got out of the cab, reached into his pocket, pulled out the appropriate funds and handed it to the cab driver.  “Thank you sir, hail Chip.”

“Excuse me,” Runciter said, “what did you just say?”  The cab driver failed to give a response, he quickly sped away, the back door of the cab slamming shut with the force of the acceleration.  “Hail Chip, what does that mean?  Am I in some sort of alternate universe,” Runciter thought to himself.

Runciter crossed the street and headed for the entrance to what, according to the paranoid cab driver, was the offices of the Runciter Organization.  He grabbed the handle to the enormously tall building and pulled, “damn,” Runciter said, “the door won’t open.”  Runciter pulled a set of keys out of his pocket, “I wonder if these work,” he thought to himself.  He put his key in the lock of the door, forced the key inside and tried to turn the lock, no luck.

Runciter removed his key from the lock, turned around with his back facing the door of the mysterious building, pulled out a pack of cigarettes, lit one up, and thought to himself.  “How long was I plugged in to half-life at the moratorium,” Runciter thought to himself, “I just can’t figure it out.  I went into half-life, met with Joe, gave him the Ubik, and that was it.”  Runciter brought the cigarette to his lips, took a deep drag, when suddenly, a tap on his shoulder.

CHAPTER 19

The key to everything great and small,

Ubik, my friends, is for all. When everything

seems all concealed, trust in Ubik, all will

be revealed.

“Hello Glen, I’m surprised to see you here.”  Runciter took two quick steps forward, turned around, and saw Joe Chip looking cheerfully back at him.  “What are you doing back here among the half-dead, or half-alive as the glass half-full ones like to think of it,” Joe said.

“What the hell is going on here,” Runciter exclaimed, “what are you doing here?  What am I doing here?  Where the hell are we?”

“I’m in half-life,” Joe said, “the same place I have been for months now.  Are you still at the moratorium?”

“The moratorium,” Runciter said, his voice quivering with fear, “I left the moratorium just a little while ago.  I left, hailed a cab, got in, asked to be taken to the Runciter Organization, and here I am.  What are you doing on my currency?”  Runciter took a dollar bill out of his pocket and handed it to Joe.

Joe chuckled, “this is great, I’ve always wanted to see my face on a bill.  Am I just on the dollars?  What’s the matter?  They couldn’t give me anything better than a dollar?”

“This is no time for jokes,” Runciter cried, “you are on everything, dollars and coins.  Now what the hell is going on here?  Why am I here?”

“I wish I had a good answer for you Glen,” Joe said, “I’m as surprised about this as you are.”

“Then why aren’t you freaking out?” Runciter asked, “What is this building?  Why are you here?”

“Relax,” Joe said in an attempt to calm Runciter down a bit.  “Let’s go upstairs to my office and try to figure this thing out.”  Joe turned around to face the door of the Takonami building, took out a key, put it in the lock, and opened the door.  “After you,” Joe said to Runciter.  Both men walked through the door.  They walked towards the elevator, Joe pushed the button for the twenty fifth floor, away they went.

“What is this building?”  Runciter asked.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Joe said, “I found this building shortly after I met with you in the hotel.  I thought it was a creation of Jory’s imagination, but after I destroyed him, the building was still here.”  Ding, the elevator doors opened, Glen Runciter and Joe Chip stepped out of the elevator and walked down a dark hallway with Joe leading the way.  They made their way into a small, dingy office building.  There was very little furniture in what was now Joe Chip’s office, just a small desk with two metal chairs on either side.  “Sit,” Joe said.

“What do you mean you destroyed Jory?” Runciter asked, “How long has it been since we met in the hotel room and I gave you the spray can of Ubik?”

“I’m not sure exactly how long it has been,” Joe said, “they don’t seem to have an abundance of calendars laying around here in half-life.”  Joe pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, “cigarette?  You look like you’ve just seen a ghost,” Joe said, smiling at Runciter.

“I can’t seem to understand what you find so amusing about this whole situation we find ourselves in,” Runciter said, “give me one of those.”  Runciter extended his hand and grabbed a cigarette from Joe.

“I’m dead,” Joe said, “half-dead at least.  What is there to be worried about, I’m in half-life, Jory’s gone.  I am curious about what happens after this, but aside from that, I don’t have too many concerns.  And I must proclaim, as much as you don’t like it, I’m glad you’re here.  I haven’t had any company in months.  After Jory’s death, if you can really call it that, everyone disappeared.  It’s as if Jory’s spirit sucked everyone else away with him.”

“Except for my cab driver,” Runciter said, “and the attendant at the moratorium, if I really am in half-life, they were here too.”

“They must have died and been resurrected in half-life after I destroyed Jory,” Joe said, “It’s all still really a mystery to me.  I don’t have much more information than you do Glen.

“So what happened to Jory?”  Runciter asked, “you saw me in the hotel, got sprayed with the Ubik, I left you, and then what?”

“Well,” Joe said, “I left the hotel, met up with Ella…”

“Wait!”  Runciter exclaimed, “You saw Ella?  How’s was she, how’d she look?”

“She was great,” Joe said, trying to reassure Runciter, “she saved me.  I went to a drugstore to pick another can of Ubik, Jory was in the store.  Ella saved me.  She gave me a can of Ubik.  Thankfully she did, otherwise I probably would not have had the strength to destroy Jory.”

“What do you mean?  Runciter asked, “How did you destroy Jory?”

“It was strange,” Joe said, “after Ella left, I called out to her.  I tried to get her to explain things to me, explain this half-life in more detail, but she ran off, never to be seen again.  Anyways, to make a long story short, after she left, I wandered the streets for a little while.  I tried to make sense of everything that had just happened, tried to figure out exactly what was going on here.  Then Jory appeared, he came at me with a fiery rage in his eyes that I have never seen.  It seemed a bit weird, for someone so young, so young looking anyway, to have such rage.  Such a disturbed individual Jory is, or was.  So anyway, he came at me, leaped at me, and knocked me to the ground.  The can of Ubik I was holding went rolling away from me, into the street next to us.  Jory grabbed me by the neck, held me down, began choking the life out of me while simultaneously sucking my spirit away, eating me as he had done with the others.  Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a cab appeared racing down the street.  I tried to call out to the driver for help.  The driver didn’t seem to notice.  Just when I thought it was all over for me, the cab ran over the can of Ubik that had rolled out onto the street.  The Ubik burst open, spraying both myself and Jory with the contents of the can.  I felt great once the spray hit me, but Jory, the Ubik seemed to have a reverse effect on him.  After Jory got sprayed with the contents of the Ubik, he began to degenerate, until finally, he just disintegrated.  He was there, and then all of the sudden, poof, he was gone.  After that it was all over, I haven’t come across Jory since.”

“That’s it,” Runciter said, he seemed surprised, “that’s all it took to defeat Jory, a little bit of Ubik?”

“That’s it,” said Joe, “Imagine all that time, that’s all it took.”  Joe put his cigarette to his lips and took a drag, “but we still can’t explain why you are here Glen.”  Suddenly there was a knock on the office door.

Runciter dropped his cigarette and look at Joe, “Are you expecting anyone?”

“Like I told you before,” Joe said, “I haven’t seen anyone since the Jory incident.”  Joe looked in the direction of his office door, “Come in.”  The door knob slowly turned with a slight creaking sound, the door swung open.

Herbert Schoenheit von Vogelsang came bursting through the door, “Mr. Runciter, thank god I finally found you.  I was beginning to worry.”

“Beginning to worry,” exclaimed Runciter, “what are you doing here?  What the hell is going on?

“I’m sorry sir,” said Herbert apologetically, “I’m so very sorry, there was nothing I could do, I tried to stop him and…”

“Stop who,” Runciter said, now pleading with Herbert, “Explain yourself, what in god’s name are you talking about?”

“I’m sorry sir,” Herbet said.

“Yes, yes, I know, you’ve said that already,” Runciter said.

“Hurry up and get on with it, spit it out,” Joe chimed in.

Herbert walked towards Glen Runciter and Joe Chip, “I’m…”

“Sorry, yes I know,” shouted Runciter.

“We had you hooked up into half-life,” said Herbert, “you were conversing with Mr. Chip.  Then, a man burst in through the doors of the moratorium, he ran down the hall, found you in one of our offices, I don’t know how he got passed security.”

“Who,” shouted Runciter, becoming visibly angry, his face turned bright red.

“A masked man,” said Herbert, “he pointed a gun at you, he said, ‘this is a message from Ray Hollis.’  And with that, he shot two bullets into your chest.  I’m so terribly sorry sir.  He got me too.  I ran into the office and tried to stop him.  I tried to wrestle the gun away from him, and in the process, took a bullet to the head, at least I think he got me in the head.  I was face to face with the man, he lifted the gun, pointed it at me, and then everything went blank.  I never even heard the shot, I just saw the weapon, it fired, and that was it…darkness.”

“So that’s it,” said Runciter, “I’m dead, your dead, and our good friend Mr. Chip here is also dead.  What are we going to do now?”

Herbert looked towards Runciter, “I’m sorry sir, I did everything I could.”

“It’s okay Mr. Vogelsang,” said Runciter, “tell me, how did you find me here?”

Looking to Runciter, Herbert said, “After I was killed, I found myself on the street.  I walked for a little while, but nobody was around.  Finally, I found a bar that seemed to be open.  I walked inside, the bar tender, Pat I think she said her name was, said that I might find you here.”

“Pat,” Joe said, “did you say Pat?”

“Yes,” Herbet said, “I believe that’s what she said her name was.”

“What is Pat doing here,” Joe said in shock.

“Do you remember where this bar is Mr. Vogelsang,” Runciter said.

“I think I should be able to find it again,” said Herbert, “let me try calling one of my associates at the moratorium first though.  I’m not sure if he was killed by the gunman from Ray Hollis’ office or not.  Perhaps I can reach him.”

“There is a payphone in the hallway,” Joe said to Herbert, “follow me.”  Joe, Runciter, and Herbet all walked out of Joe’s office and headed down the hallway to the payphone that was situated at the end of the hall.

“Do you have any currency?”  Herbert asked Joe.

“Yes, here you go,” said Joe, handing Herbert a coin.

“Wait just a damn minute,” said Runciter, “Look at that coin.”  Herbert opened his hand.  All three men leaned in to get a closer look at the coin.

“Is that Pat,” said Joe.

Runciter took a step back, looked at Herbet and Joe, “My god, it is.”

THE END

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